Our personality determines who we are

Our personality is behind our thoughts, emotions and actions. We can easily perceive it superficially. However, it demands a high degree of self-knowledge in order to understand its deeper aspects.

There are plenty of popular “personality tests” all over the Internet. Most of them however, are not worth spending any time. Our personality is quite complex to be revealed through a quick test. The most effective tests require us to think, shed light and bring several aspects of our personality into our awareness.

Personality: Social Style (or Merrill-Wilson’s) model

The Merrill-Wilson’s model is relatively simple to use. In addition, it has the best return on investment for the time we devote to think about it. It’s also quite fun!

The four personality types of the Social Style model are the following:

• Analytical
• Driving
• Amiable
• Expressive

What are the benefits of understanding our social style?

By recognizing our social style and therefore understanding our personality better, we will be able to:

• Comprehend and empower our relationships
• Have better communication with other people
• Predict the behavior of others
• Make our teams or families much more functional

Along with motivating and managing more effectively other people, we will also be able to do the same for our self.

Two factors influence the type of our personality.

1. Whether we are introvert or extrovert and
2. Whether we are better with data (facts and numbers) or relationships.

These two factors give us four different cases, as shown in the truth table below:

It should be noted that most people will have a primary and a secondary type. In our communication with others, we first need to identify the primary type of the person and then talk to that type.

The four personality types according to Merrill-Wilson

Let’s consider them all in more detail:

📊 Analytical

They have a lot of depth. They are serious, thoughtful and focused. Usually, they set high standards in their personal and professional life. They write lots of lists and continuously ask questions. They will never take a decision before they know all the essential facts. Their perfectionism is both a virtue and a vice. They tend to have a somewhat dry but sharp sense of humor!

👍 Their positives

Always disciplined and with enough self-control. Also, diligent and organized.

👎 Their negatives

Overanalytical and as a result, hesitant and indecisive. Furthermore, they are judgmental, negative and short-tempered.

👀 At a glance

1. Need: to be right.
2. Orientation: thinking.
3. Strategy: they like to declare.
4. Strong points: rational, conscientious and disciplined.
5. Weak points: they take decisions ignoring emotions. Additionally, they can be very demanding from others.

In communicating with an analytical:

• Be precise and clear
• Do not rush
• Focus on the facts
• Be prepared for many questions starting with “how”
• Provide analytical data
• Recognize their need for logic and precision
• Be prepared to repeat yourself
• Allow for some extra time for a evaluation
• Provide enough evidence for what you say
• At the end, make a compliment about the accuracy of the work done

🚀 Drivers

They are always dynamic and full of energy. As they put immediately their thoughts into action, they often neglect important details. Naturally, their high self-confidence yields a tendency to leadership positions. They are visionaries. As a result, they can easily see the big picture but also where they want to go. However, quite often they are unable to see the necessary intermediate steps.

👍 Their positives

Direct, dominant, and assertive. Independent and productive. They prefer to take the wrong decision than taking no decision.

👎 Their negatives

Proud, stubborn, aggressive and sarcastic. Drivers often seem emotionless or arrogant. They know what they want and how to take it. Sometimes they step over others in order to achieve what they want. They do not easily admit their mistakes. In their rush to take a decision, they will not care about the consequences.

👀 At a glance

1. Need: to have results.
2. Orientation: action.
3. Strategy: they like to listen.
4. Strong points: assertive, decisive and independent.
5. Weak points: they are hard to cooperate with, as they are not very much interested in the perspective of others. Besides, they can be quite suppressive.

In communicating with a driver:

• Talk about expected results
• Focus on the facts, not the emotions
• Be methodical and professional
• Provide organized, concise and coherent information
• Be prepared to answer many questions starting from “what”
• Do not waste their time by discussing too much about the details
• Provide only a few options, never too many

💚 Amiable

This is the most calm and flat type of personality. They are relaxed, reserved, patient and balanced. Amiable types do not get easily excited. Above all, they seek peace and quiet in a calm and safe environment.

👍 Their positives

Charming, polite and discrete. They don’t like conflict. Diplomatic and calm, they’re never insulting. Willing to lose their comfort as long as they do not displease others. Eventually, everybody likes an amiable. They are deeply emotional and crave for harmony.

👎 Their negatives

They can become egoistic and stubborn. Their indifference is often taken as annoying. They will wait until the last moment to take a decision and finally they will do whatever the others want.

👀 At a glance

1. Need: personal safety.
2. Orientation: relationships.
3. Strategy: they like to belong.
4. Strong points: supportive, tolerant and diplomatic.
5. Weak points: They are quite indecisive. For this reason, they often conform with the decisions and wishes of others. On top of that, they rarely set time limits, so they accumulate their tasks.

In communicating with an amiable:

• Be relaxed and pleasant
• Provide a written plan
• Be prepared to answer a lot of questions starting with “why”
• Show your agreement often and clearly
• Stay predictable
• Don’t rush, don’t push
• Listen to them actively

🧨 Expressive

They are very social and competitive. Consequently, they want to participate everywhere: in projects, teams, companies and discussions. Besides, they like to have fun and can perceive with humor even a serious or a tough situation.

👍 Their positives

They are persuasive, ambitious, charismatic and generous. In addition, they are excellent story-tellers. As a result, they communicate their vision and get others excited with their ideas. Often, they overcommit in order to please others.

👎 Their negatives

They are loud, disorganized and without disciplines. You cannot trust them to finish a project satisfactorily.

👀 At a glance

1. Need: personal expression.
2. Orientation: spontaneity.
3. Strategy: they like to control.
4. Strong points: communicators with lots of enthusiasm and imagination.
5. Weak points: they talk a lot; they are dreamers and often unrealistic.

In communicating with an expressive:

• Focus on developing a relation
• Be warm, open, approachable, agreeable and enthusiastic
• Respond fast
• Share stories and experiences
• Be prepared to answer many questions starting with “who”
• Leave out most of the details
• Avoid any chance of personal conflict

Cooperation and complementarity

At this point, we can see clearly, how an analytical and a driver can cooperate with exceptional results. Also, how their competencies complement each other.

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If you want to go to the moon, you have to trust a driver.

But if you also want to come back, it will help to have with you an analytical! 😉

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Management of personality types

Of course, all the above are generalities. Clearly, not a single person is 100% analytical or 0% expressive. Most people demonstrate – to some extend – every type. Nevertheless, in most cases, one type is dominant. But another one is also playing an important secondary role.

So, start with identifying your own primary type. Then, think which of the others you resonate with. Study them carefully once more, to gain important awareness as to how you think, how you feel and how you act.

Let your personality develop!

So, our personality changes and matures with time. Just like a good red wine. However, it requires conscious, methodical effort in order to be improved. Before anything else, we need to become aware of it. Then, we have to accept it. Without self-acceptance, it will not be possible to make any change. We next have to zoom in and become aware of the particular characteristics we wish to change. At this point, we can see more clearly what is not working, what is holding us back, what makes our relationships less functional. Finally, we will have to close the gap between our old and new self. Coaching is a powerful way to show you which aspects of your personality can be improved and guide you to make the change.

To sum up, our plan has the following stages:

• Recognition
• Self-acceptance
• Awareness of specific aspects we wish to change or improve
• Change of current personality aspects with desired ones

It might take a bit of time but it is definitely worth it!

You could now proceed to identify the values which lie behind your personality:

What are your Personal Core Values and how aligned are with your life?